Ek Thi Daayan Review

 Well it’s the story of a magician whose name if you chant in continuation will bring out the dog in you, Mr. Bobo(Emran Hashmi).

He is dating Tamara(Huma Qureshi) and they have an adopted son, Zubin in the pipeline. Now Bobo is not scared of burning a living girl in his magic shows but a baby girl with doll spooks him out. Spooky enough that after a while he decides marrying Tamara is the solution for it all.. Duh!

Bobo now digs up his past and story shifts to the  eleven year old wanna be magician. Living happily with his Sis and Dad, Bobo is unable to tame the Sherlock in him and takes a trip to hell in the building’s non functional escalator. Yeah right.. Don’t press 666 or you will reach hell.

Now enters a daayan(Konkana)  in their lives with the most innovative name, ‘Daayana’. She henpecks his Tharki Dad under her charm in no mean time. Bobo identifies the Daayan and tries  to convince his Dad but Alas! Tharki Dad is just too tharki. Konkana actually manages to give out a few scary moments without any lame ass twist in the plot. _/\_

Daayana has the ability to transform into a lizard and slip through anywhere. So convenient whenever you feel  too  fat for the door ;)

Daayans are recharged by the sacrifice of a kid and Daayan Daayana picks up Bobo’s lil sissy. Caught red handed in the act by father and son, Daayan kills Daddy Cool also and asks Bobo to come along. But Bobo chops off her pigtail and boom! she crumbles after promising  of PunarJanam..Also, we learn that Daayans have feet in the reverse direction.

Ofcourse all this Bobo’s  intelligence comes from the H C Verma of Magic world, a crap book he bought from a Kabadi Wala.   

Come back to the yawning present now, Enter the girl with front teeth all over the place, Lisa(Kalki). Her Daayan like jewelleries affirm that Daayan has come back. Yawn… Yawn.

She buys Bobo’s  crappy childhood home and soon Tamara is hanging on the railing as if it’s ‘Khatron Ke Khiladi’. Ofcouse Piddi Lisa managed to topple Fat Huma and even more obvious is that atleast 50 more people who are at the party don’t lend a helping hand to Bobo The Dodo to pull his wife up. Duh!

Sniffing threat to Zubin’s life Bobo boboes to hell again  ofcourse in the non functional elevator and meets the chudail+wife he had been with all along, Tamara…

Wonder how even after making out so many times he did not notice her feet. Like father, like son. :\

Bobo is enlightened with the fact that he is a potential ‘Pishaach’ and should sacrifice the kid on the table to join the league. Weirdly, lots of expressionless people are present in hell while all this goes on. LOL! Ofcourse ‘Bobo The Pishaach’ decides against it and  delares:” THIS IS SPARTA..!”

‘ Tams the dumbs’ is apparently a newbie Daayan as she forgets to transform into a lizard before crawling up the wall in the fight. No common sense only :\

Being a sheer genius, ‘Bobo The Dodo’ recalls from the book that being a potential Pishach, he can harness the energy and has his Junior G moment. He then uses that energy to Khallaas Tamara.

He now has to kill ‘Daayana The Daayan’ but sadly he loses his killer abilities with the loss of his innocence according to Satan manual. Duh!

After a funny fight between Bobo and Daayan’s choti, Javed Habib of the story-Zubin, chops off her hair and she crumbles again. If only he could make her Takloo.. :\

 Okay Okay! Wake up now. This movie is not that bad and full of pretty ladies. You can watch it once and that’s all. J J

No figure is perfect figure

Okay there is a girl who can immediately see every pizza piece I eat on my tummy /shoulders / face and  sometimes on my fingers also. I tell you she is just crazy. First she forces me to go to gym at odd hours as I keep repeating the following lines in my head while huffing on the treadmill-

“You're on the frontline

Everyone's watching

You know it's serious

We're getting closer

This isnt over

The pressure is on

You feel it

But you've got it all

Believe it…..”.

 Then I crawl back like a proud soldier who has just conquered her Tiger Tummy hill and this mean girl convinces me that I should be rewarded with pizza, chocolates and sometimes Soft drink also as my victory drink which apparently has calories equivalent to 7 spoons of sugar. Even as I open my mouth to say N..she interrupts me saying…”You look anorexic! Do you want to look like Kareena Kapoor!” and I am like “Yuck! Hell no! Who wants to look like her.. “  

Yeah! Right! . Just 2 burps later she pops up in front of me reminding how life and my face goes on in a circle. :\

But there is one thing we agree on. There are only 2 kinds of girls in this world- Paper/Papad, Elephat.

Being a fan of the TV Series ‘2 Broke girls’, girls are either Carolined or Maxed in the virtual list. ;)

Paper Wafer girls are disgusting. Infact, we think they are non-males but not females. Their collar bone is like 2 swords hanging on a wall.  They don’t even have a belly for belly dancing. Yuck Thoo!

Now elephats are so fat that a sofa can sit on them. If they hug us, we won’t even need a bubble wrap.  Oh Man! They look eternally pregnant. Yuck thoo!

I, ofcourse, am different. I keep swaying back andf forth between  NOTA(None of the above) and  BOTA(Both of the Above). This is obviously decided by this crazy girl I have been talking about all along who is right now grinning back at me from the mirror. All I want to sing to her is:

“I hate you like I love you..love you..love you..love you… aaooouuu!”  

P.S: I recently managed to get my favorite answer for my “Am I looking thin or fat?” question.

Me: “Am I looking thin or fat in that pic?”

Friend:  I haven’t even seen it but I am sure very thin.

Me: Hatt!! Very funny <Weeeeee….Weeeee>

Me: Did you see the pic now?

Friend<After a long pause>: OMG! You are so thin that it took me a while to find you!

Me: Liar!(Read yes!) Kutta! (Read yes!) …. Be honest naa(Read No No No!)

'I, Me Aur Main' Pain

Firstly, I would like a committee to be set up to investigate if Jyoti Randhawa  has stolen all his wife’s cash. Why else did an amazing actor like Chitrangada Singh stoop to something as low as signing this movie. Tcchh….

The core of the movie is to promote ‘Assholism’ in general through John Abraham’s(Ishaan) character. The title reflects him as a selfish but actually he is also a cheapo who refuses to pay the milkman of his gf Anushka(btw, he is a leach living in her house, probably for free)because he drinks black coffee. Should we laugh? Haha..haha…

Anushka(Chitrangada) dumps him and he falls for his neighbor , Gauri (Prachi Desai) just because she keeps flashing.

I mean keeps flashing her …errr.. Teeth! Stylist by profession, she herself wears tacky combination of blue and yellow clothes. She is so demented that even being left alone on a road by the jerk, Ishaan also makes her laugh. She is also a part time electrician always playing with screwdriver in the building. Why the hell did she not fix her own loose screw ! 

Ishaan meanwhile, decides to promote Aamla, who is not edible or tolerable at all. She declares being a noob at everything except singing but miraculously starts doing classical dance at the end with bad lip syncing.

There is one good thing about Ishaan though. He turns into a motivational speaker(Deepak Chopra ..listening?) everytime Aamla is just about to piss in her pants in panic. Just 2 lines and boom!

Meanwhile Anushka discovers that she is pregnant with Ishaan’s child..blah..blah..

Ishaan’s mother takes revenge for the audience by slapping him tight which makes him a good person.LOL!So at the end, he becomes a responsible father while Anushka doesn’t take him back for a hotter guy. Finally a good decision. ;)

Throughout the movie, John keeps delivering an epic dialogue while scratching air in front of mirror like a dog. ”Who is the best (waste)… Who is the best (waste)… Who is the best (waste)…? Ishaan” Pissssssssssss